I glanced around to make sure there was nobody around who could identify me, climbed the dark stairs, and paused before entering. An attractive young woman looked at me expectantly. I tried to mentally process all the services on offer, how much the whole thing would cost, and the precise level of dignity I would be sacrificing if I chose to act upon these needs. It had been too long.
I like to think of myself as urbane and debonair (even though the rest of my chronically myopic world still fails to share this view), but I had just got back from a work trip to the Middle of Nowhere, and I was in need of a total grooming solution. Haircut, shave - no tension so far - but I was also being ordered by the aforementioned attractive young woman (a sneaky trick, by the way), to get a manicure, pedicure AND a facial. I was pretty confident I could clip my own nails and wash my own face.

I’m of Indian origin, and I’ve been coming here for years. I lived in Delhi for most of last year. But in London, where I grew up, most men do not find themselves propped up in a chair, being attended to by three other guys. (Of course, for some guys, this is known as ‘Friday night’, but that still isn’t a majority). It’s not as if I’m lax about grooming. I am regularly persecuted by friends for having what I consider a sensible array of products in my bathroom cabinet. They seem to think two different types of hair wax and facial exfoliant are unnecessary for a man. They know nothing, the fools. But back home, it is only the extravagant or the totally unselfconscious who would be caught dead in a beauty parlour.

In India, I am pleased to say, it’s different. Every week, I’d head to Khan Market, settle in at Habib’s or Shahnaz Hussain, and get everything done. I now look immaculate for a couple of days before the stubble takes over again. Hair, face, nails and even the occasional leg wax. That last one is a lie, of course. By Indian standards, these places aren’t especially cheap, but I’ve belated come to understand why they exist, and why it’s ok to use them. I simply can’t shave or clip nails as well as these guys can, and I am very grateful that someone will accept the task of washing my Delhified feet. Both the places I’ve mentioned have branches all over the city. You can also go to expensive hotels, where it will cost a lot more but the receptionist will be even more attractive, or you can use your neighbourhood barber. He will be cheap, but will look rather unappealing.

It is perfectly ok for a Real Man to use these services. I should know. And Delhi, more than most cities in India, is where the Real Men live. A Delhi gentleman can get a pedicure and massage in the morning, work all day (well, sort of), and get drunk and leery by night. A perfect day.